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The Vaseline, or oil, or whatever I'd use to lube my bung hole wascorrosive. I've stained a few of their things, and had to throw them outhoping that they wouldn't notice. Once I had to get rid of a very distinct pair of purple tights. Purplewas very much in when Prince came out with the Purple Rain album. And,Jennifer had this very sexy purple outfit. Now, there was no wayJennifer wasn't going to notice that her purple tights were missing so Iwent to the mall to look for a replacement. I went to the women's department in the department store, and to aclassy lingerie store but had no luck. Finally, in this one lingeriestore that sold particularly slutty outfits, I found some replacementtights. The whole episode was mortifying. There I was walking aroundwomen's lingerie stores. First, I was frightened even to go inside. What if someone I knew sawme? How could I explain it? What about the people inside? Once I got thecourage to go in, I felt like all eyes were on me. I hoped to get in. I was able to salvage most of it, and his clothes absorbed the small amount he’d lost. I got up and slowly put my pants on just as there was another sizzle and Rick returned to his sitting position, naked and wild eyed. I handed him the remains of his still cold brew and sat back down after prying the remote from his hands. Several long minutes passed until he muttered: “Damn.”“Now you know why I’m not apt to change my personal life.”“Yeah,” he said in a barely audible whisper. “Thanks.”“Where did you go,” I asked, my curiosity peaked.Rick let out a long sigh; “It was a cathouse – late 1800s, I’d guess, with petticoats and eagle clawed tubs, and nickelodeon music and the strongest booze ever conceived by man. The women were . . . hot – no, insatiable!” He paused and put on his serious face. “What if I knocked her up?”“And what if I fucked my granny and she had a boy instead of my Mom? Let me go check on the flux capacitor . . .” I took another lingering sip of my brew.Rick.
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