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"I alternated among bites of my sandwich, handfuls of chips, and gulps from a can of Coke, all the while discretely drinking in her body. A light gold chain around her neck and two clips in her hair were all that she wore besides the few square inches of bikini. She had a uniform tan that obviously covered her entire body, and a few beads of sweat glistened on her forehead and breastbone. The sound of the waves and the scent of the sea breeze made positive contributions to the near idyllic scene.After finishing two sandwich halves, Aunt Jane pulled the dark glasses halfway down the bridge of her nose with a single finger. She stared at me over the tops of the sunglasses and asked in an almost menacing tone, "Are you staring at me, Barry?"My gulp was almost audible, and I lied unconvincingly. "No. No!" Don't you fib to me," she hissed. "I could see you staring at me." She paused long enough for my embarrassment to become patently obvious, then added, "Don't be embarrassed, honey, I. Kirsten smiled; she'd seen ads from these bozos before. Apparently, they hadn't gotten the message yet. On the margin of the ad she wrote "Pd -- use BBB ad following", and put it in her outbasket.The next envelope was marked "Legal Advertising," and came from the Fish and Wildlife Service in Minneapolis. This also was nothing new; they got a legal from the Fish and Wildlife Service about four times a year. She opened the copy and read the cover sheet: "Ad must be at least 4 inches wide, type not less than 12 point." Bunch of ripoff artists," she snorted. The ad would have to be charged by word count, since it was a legal, but putting it in a box with that type size would mean that they'd get less than the normal space rate. Before she even looked at the ad, she wrote in the margin of the cover sheet, "2 col, 12 pt. Squeeze." That would help a little. That done, she glanced at the ad itself, and involuntarily cringed when she saw the headline:PUBLIC NOTICE Gibson's Water SnakeShe.
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