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Sometimes I wonder if love will ever happen to me. It seems absurd really, wondering that at my age, and with my life. Maybe when I settle down one day…but there’s one thing wrong with that. I don’t want to settle down. That’s not what love is anyway, you can’t have love that’s settled down. It has to be bruising, exciting, painful, wonderful and…everything that I need right now. I’m alone, more alone than I’ve ever been in my life. They say love is like a drug, like the best feeling in the world times four. I think it must be more like you’re just about to commit suicide, and you jump off the cliff, ready to die…then you grow wings. That must be it. It has to save you from everything you’ve ever been afraid of and everything that could ever hurt you. I’m scared to death of something that powerful taking over my life, but I want it more than I can express. I want the poetry of it, more than anything else. It’s romantic and soul-devouring stuff. Or at least, it must be…it has to. Oh I was shocked. There was some kind of current went through all over my body. I was not in my senses for 3-4 seconds. I pulled my hand from his and said no sorry cant stay and will leave tomorrow and Please excuse me I am tired with the journey and the function and cleaning and all. I want to take rest. He said OK. I closed the door and just dropped myself on to the bed. Tried to sleep but couldn’t. I was thinking what was that. why he holded my hand.Was it casual, was it lust. what is it..And after some time I started thinking Hey why was I not angry on him.Did i like his touch. what kind of feeling was that when he touched me.Never had this kind of feeling when my husband touched me. Its strange. It was like the touch of my life. I was getting mad and I tried hard to sleep with all these toughts.After some time I slept. some time later I heard the sound of the door. I woke up with fear. I saw my BIL coming inside the room.I was watching him I wanted to ask him why you are here,.
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