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He lifted up his sword and... ... found himself standing on a featureless cloudy plane with the big tits angel floating in front of him.Great, the battle tutorial.The angel asked him some questions in moonspeak. Jackson smiled, nodded his head and pretended to understand. Obviously he didn't, but if he told the big tits angel that then she'd repeat the instructions over and over until he collapsed of old age.He didn't need the instructions anyway. It was a stupid JRPG. They were all the same. They all had the same commands. Attack, Magic, Item, Run Away. It was the same every fucking time. So Jackson smiled, nodded his head and waited for the big tits angel to send him back so he could splatter Ms. Jelly Tits all over the pre-rendered backdrops exactly the same as he'd done to all the other bouncing blue retards.The angel finished her piece and Jackson was sent back to the path. The blue girl stood in front of him with her hands on her hips. Naked blue girl, Jackson amended. Naked. At first, humiliation choked off my voice. I had been found out: Mymission to blend into a Cambridge party had failed abysmally; I wasexposed as a foul-mouthed hick. Worse, cruel Erika had been right tocall me a "boy" for I was, at age nineteen, almost hairless. I hadn't asingle hair on my chest or under my armpits, and only a scattered fewat my crotch. I had more on my legs but they were so blond and wispythat I looked perpetually waxed. As for my beard, I did shave it once aweek but only to keep the batteries in my Remington razor charged.My torso was equally immature: I still had the height and musculatureof a fifteen-year-old boy. Indeed, the only definition on my chest camefrom a lingering case of gynecomastia. My hormones had gotten out ofkilter during early adolescence, leaving me (like many teenaged boys)with some unwanted breast tissue. Although my chest looked more flabbythan feminine, I definitely hoped that the doctor was right when hesaid that my "breasts" would likely.
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