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When I was quiet I use to solace MIL. When MIL was quiet she uses to solace me. After all I was male; I have to get composure soon. It was hard time for me to solace Ranjana. I held her in me. Many times I was caressing her back, some time caressing her cheeks, every now and than wiping her tears. Daughter Jenny was at home with a lady from my staff at her home. We were the only sole supporter and solace to each other.Slowly distance relatives and friend and few others gathered. All the rituals were carried. Jenny was present but could not understand everything. I was thankful to my staff lady who cared for Jenny during this time. At night we were just three at home Jenny me and mamma.Jenny though not understanding anything was continuously crying. She was neither leaving me, nor mamma. Mamma was also weeping in between. We three lay on the master bed. Jenny was holding me with one hand, with another hand holding mama.Life became miserable. I was having difficult time without Nalini.. ...or at least parents who were liberal and allow theirchild to live in that environment.The yuck part of preparing, was that I now had to buy guy style clothes towork on the charade. It is funny that I thought that portraying myself as amale was now the charade in my life. Mom and I shopped forslacks/shirts/jackets etc. that had a more neutral/androgynous look. Oh howI did not look forward to not being able to dress day to day as Molly!!!!Our plan was to keep a few of Molly's things in my dorm room, but keep themajority at my sister's condo. She had a roommate who was eventuallybriefed on my status so things would work out on that end.The last week was a blur. I stopped working at the shop 1 ? weeks beforeschool, so I could have a little room to plan and have last minute funbefore heading off to college. One fun day was a trip to NYC on the trainwith my aunt Molly (the one from whom I took my name) for a girl's day ofshopping. Aunt Molly was a hold over from those wonderful 60's and.
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