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It went straight to voicemail. I didn't say anything- what could I have said anyway. I got up,pulled on some slippers, and went into the bathroom.The first thing I realized is that I really shouldn't have looked in themirror. I hadn't taken a direct hit to my face, but I still lookedawful. My hair was wrecked, and I showed signs of having slept badly.I didn't remember any nightmares, but I was sure that they had beenthere.I took a shower, since I could see that they had used a waterproofbandage on my wound. Even that didn't seem to do much for my hair.Then, I realized that I had been avoiding thinking of the worst of lastnight. I pulled on a pair of panties, a bra, and a black t- shirt andcloth shorts. In my own way, I was already mourning the ones who hadbeen killed, especially Tammy. I put on some sandals, and went outside.Although the local CSI folks, along with government ones were stillaround, the bodies were gone. I hadn't looked at a clock, but couldtell by the sun. Ill go ahead and get the kids, theyll stay with me at my folks tonight. Ill give you a call soon, when Im ready to talk. I still love you no matter what. With that he paid the bill and left me sitting there at the table alone. I was miserable, but hopeful. He was obviously disappointed in me, as was I in myself, but there was still our love. That in itself gave me the strength to be patient. I would wait however long it took, and I would so faithfully. I went about the rest of that day and the next running errands, cleaning house, preparing for my family to return home. I stayed in a positive frame of mind. And I prayed a lot. I was still getting high throughout my day, keeping it outside. I considered taking one of the X pills tucked away in purse but decided against it. The pot was bad enough, I had to stay strong and not turn to hard drugs again. Regardless of the outcome of his decision I had to get my life back on track. I was being level headed enough to realize there was more.
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