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In the middle of the night, the guy in the middle wakes up, and says to the man next to him “Let me out. I have GOT to get to my wife! I have the biggest hard-on I have ever had, and I’ve got to get to her NOW!” The other guy says “Okay. Do you want me to come with you?” “What the hell for?” asks the other. “Because that’s MY dick you’re holding!” he says.A blonde walked into a doctor’s office with two burnt ears. The doctor asked her “What happened to your ear?” The blonde replied “I was ironing and the phone rang, so instead of picking up the phone, I picked up the iron and put it to my ear. Still not satisfied, the doctor asked “Well, what happened to the other ear?” “The sucker called again!”A blonde walks into a barber shop with headphones on. She tells the barber what cut she wants, but that he has to cut around her headphones. The barber looks a little puzzled but agrees. So, he starts cutting the best he can but accidently he knocks the headphones off. Within a few seconds. I had to pay attention since they weren't. After leaving the town, we picked up speed a little but I made sure to keep it well under the posted limit. The Missouri Highway Patrol Officers are a bunch of humorless folks when it comes to speeding Californians, and the locals aren't far behind.We made it through Jenkins on the 39 and I saw a Motel 6 on the outskirts. I just didn't want to take the chance of being tired on an unfamiliar road by pushing it to Branson. We checked in and had just pulled the mini-cooler into the room when we noticed "The Korner Kafe". Without even unpacking, we walked over to the diner hoping to catch it before it closed. I did NOT want fast food.We walked in and you could have heard a pin drop. Ok, picture this. Two strangers dressed kind of funny (mesh and leather) in a town of 400. The first thing I expected was "Ya'll aren't from around here are ya?"Instead, I got, "Have a seat and take a load off; coffee?"Oh, yes, Reggie and I both wanted something with.
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"Beth left me last Tuesday and just disappeared off the face of the earth," I told her. "With the exception of calling the k**s, I've spoken to everyone else and nobody has heard a word from her, I'm getting more than a little worried." "Not worried enough to cancel our date for tonight?" she said. "Believe it or not, I almost did, but I had no way to reach you; remember? You have a blocked number, and Dan sure as hell wasn't going to give me your home phone number," I told her. "I put a message on my answering machine for Beth to call me, because we needed to talk. I'm afraid she is looking to divorce me, because of all the women that I have been parading through the house. I wanted my pound of flesh, but I think I went a little overboard," I told her. "So, have you made up your mind about her yet?" Sandy asked in a serious tone. "Yes, if she's still willing, I would like to try to save our marriage. After twenty five good years and raising two wonderful k**s, I'm ready to give it.

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