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I was on my yearly two-week trip to Israel during the high holy day. I was sitting at a table outside a nice kosher restaurant when three gorgeous IDF teenagers took the table next to mine. As you may know, national military service is mandatory for all Israeli citizens over the age of 18, although Arab (but not Druze) citizens are exempted if they so please, and other exceptions may be made on religious, physical or psychological grounds.I figured these girls were eighteen to nineteen years old and they were chattering away in Hebrew, which I don’t speak. I was facing their table, so I looked each one over really well and tried to imagine what they’d look like in bikinis.One of them noticed me staring and said something to me in Hebrew.“Sorry. I don’t speak a word of Hebrew,” I responded.Then she said in almost perfect English, “You’re American, aren’t you?”“Yep. Guilty.”“What brings you to Israel?”“The high holy days. I come every year.”“Really? Then you’re either Jewish or. ” She rubbed her fanny for effect. “I had thought I had broken my tail bone.”Not about to be beaten by that particular bit of solid biological waste, I responded with, “well my mom and dad not only made me clean up after my own birthday parties with just a pair of broken tweezers, they would also tie my hands behind my back and hire the Bee Gees to sing while I did it.”“Ouch, you win, Kenny,” she said as I tossed the last denuded chicken bone onto the styrofoam plate. “Where did you get that warped idea?”“Oh! Stories my father would tell me about what would happen to him and his brother.”“You have an uncle, then?”“Had. He died in prison.”Realizing that I had just overdid the candor, I grimaced and hoped that Jenny wouldn’t pry any further than I had already disclosed. I really ought to have prayed as well; Jenny’s elbows hit the table with an audible thunk, and her chin simultaneously landed into the cup of her palms.“What did he do?”“Slipped on a bar of soap and landed on a sharpened.
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