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"I'd had enough. "How do dildos get in the lakes and ocean in the first place?" I asked sarcastically. I figured this would shut them up."Do you know how many plastic dildos were sold worldwide in 2007?" Ashley asked. I shook my head no even as I tried to guess a figure. A couple of million? "According to the United Nations over one hundred and eighty-nine million of them Mr. Smart Guy." I still was trying to figure out how dildos could have got into the ocean when the size of the number hit me. It sounded preposterous. Who was she k**ding?"No way! How do you know that?" I challenged."It's reported on their website; they explain everything about the damage plastic pricks are doing to our environment." On whose website?" I asked even while wishing I'd never brought the subject up."The website of the company that manufactured Tiger Woody. They have a complete line of eco friendly penises," Kimberly explained."They're not penises," I protested."And their research shows that some one. "I don't want to be here," Susan said. "This is like jail almost. Wouldn't you feel rotten if you had to report to jail every morning?"It seemed to me that it was my duty to brighten her day in exchange for a little help from her with my problem."Well," I said, "how bad a problem is it for you?" What do you mean?" Susan asked suspiciously."I mean how bad do you want to get out of here," I said. "And that means just what you probably think it means."She sat down in the chair in front of my desk and looked at me. She crossed her legs and leaned forward to rest her chin on her hand."Let me get this right," Susan said. "You're offering to get me out of this public service shit if I do you a favor in exchange?" That's a possibility," I told her. "We might be able to shorten the length of service by giving you extra credit."She tossed her long, dark brown hair back over her shoulder. "And just what kind of favor did you have in mind?" she asked."Oh, I'm a strong believer in volunteerism," I.
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