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.. I was the best man at the wedding and I think I should explain what happened.”The Judge agrees and asks Paddy to take the stand. Paddy begins his explanation by telling the court that it is traditional in a Cavan wedding that the Best Man gets the first dance with the Bride.The judge says “OK.”“Well”, said Paddy, “After I had finished the first dance, the music kept going, so I continued dancing to the second song, and after that the music kept going and I was dancing to the third song ... when all of a sudden the Groom leapt over the table, ran towards us and gave the Bride an unmerciful kick in her privates.”The Judge instantly responded... “Wow ... that must have hurt!”Paddy replies “HURT! ... He broke three of my fingers!”A guy was accosted by a hooker. She asked, “How ‘bout some relaxing oral sex, honey? Only $50”“No way!” he responded. “I’m married!”“So? What difference does that make?” asked the hooker.So he told her, “The difference is my wife will do it for only $35.”A. Timmy's mother, my daughter, had himat the young age of 17. Being so young she was not quite ready to be afull time mother. She was just like any other teenage girl who had socialobligations to meet. She was a good mother but I understood her need tobe young and flamboyant. I had no problem watching Timmy any time andhaving him accompany me to church on Sundays. I was often times aloneanyway and cherished having the company of Timmy. I was very lonely backthen. My husband of 26 years had left me for another woman shortly afterTimmy was born. On top of that Timmy's father skipped town as soon as helearned of my daughter's pregnancy. I was devastated and was left with alot of anger in my heart toward men.I had decided that I would dedicate myself and any love I had left toensuring that Timmy was brought up right. I wanted him to be a kind,caring, gentle, and loving person. I wanted him to grow up just theopposite of his father and grandfather. In order to do this I had tointroduce.
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