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Welcoming you at the door, I ushered you into the tiny candlelit dining room. When you sat, the candlelight sparked off your eyes. You wore a black v-neck cashmere sweater that hugged your arms, shoulders, and chest. The sight of you left me breathless. In our nervousness, neither of us could stop talking. You babbled about comics you loved. We argued over the quality of light in John Singer Sargent and Albert Bierstadt works. Your leg bounced against the table as my heart bounded across my chest. The table at which we sat -- the same at which we sit this evening -- is one I salvaged and restored, sanding the gouges, repairing the legs. My friend and mentor , a master woodworker, taught me to fix things made from wood. He insisted that I learn only with hand tools. “You will never get to know the wood if you have a piece of machinery separating you from it. Let the wood show you how to bring it back. You must learn to feel it.” As I sanded, I exorcised the struggles of a troubled. Right now I would love to wear your collar but I don’t want to be up in Donald’s face with it so soon after you cut his collar from my neck and threw it into his lap, like a gauntlet being thrown. I feel like a fairy princess with two knights jousting over her hand. The thing about jousting is that someone might get hurt and I don’t want to hurt either of you.” “Audrey, I am sorry for putting you into the back of our car with those men. I wish I was wired differently and I wish that I hadn’t pushed you into that. I never meant to degrade you or leave you feeling less than. If anything, I was putting you on a pedestal and worshipping you from the front seat. I was proud of how you excited those men, how you were so damned… well, so damned desirable!” “Well, if we are being honest here, that wasn’t all bad – at least not at first. A part of me deep inside that I don’t always like admitting to was more than a bit tingly to be the ‘bad girl in the back seat.’ It was exciting to act.
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