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I had not yet told anyone of my secret, the secret that I kept to myself. I was attracted to men and at night in my room I jerked off thinking about the guys from school that I found hot, there were many. The guys on my basketball team and the guys from gym class who's cocks I would sneak looks at while taking showers. I would jerk off to men's underwear magazines and then when I got my own computer I watched gay porn every night. I would always look at my step dad after he came from the gym, he and my mother had only been married for a short time and I swear I would catch him looking at me with lingering eyes but I thought it was my horny desire making me see things. It was towards the summer and I had graduated H.S. and had enjoyed just dickin around all summer. I usually hung out with friends, getting high, which always wound up with me going to their bathroom to rub one out after my friend usually passed out. I was at my bud's house and had planned to stay over but he pissed his. We could all hear her in our heads as she said her final farewells, and we watched as the life left the eyes of the portrait.We all mourned her, me especially. I woke to the sound of my baby’s cries on the monitor, and not waking Jen, I got her up, fixed her bottle, and walked her around until she burped, before taking her to bed with us. I stopped in front of the portrait.“I don’t know if you can hear me, Mom, but thank you again. You helped a lonely vet and a beautiful girl live a wonderful life. Even without the money, we would have always loved you. This child,” I said, holding A. J. up to her, “will grow up hearing the stories of your life and legacies. I hope I live long enough to see that happen, that she becomes a woman of integrity and wisdom, just like her mother and grandmother. Goodnight, Mom.”For a fleeting second, I thought she was there, but it faded.EpilogueOh! I almost forgot to tell you what we found in the third bay of our garage, when we finally got around to.
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