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I had never had a lover since University. I had always hoped, always half expected that Jess would claim me. I knew at the same time that she never would but nobody came close, nobody else mattered in that way. Oh, of course I had had people to share my bed, to fuck, but that’s all it was. They always disappointed, always fell short. Only Jess would do. I smoked another cigarette then, feeling extremely silly and embarrassed walked slowly back towards the hotel. Tippi was standing on the path, the sun behind her and through the soft white cotton of her long skirt her legs were shadows. I couldn’t see her face. ‘I feel such a twat.’ She slipped her arm through mine and we walked like that towards the house. ‘We all knew how you felt about her. We always knew.’ I nodded, was that all I was capable of doing? Tippi stopped, restraining me with her gentle grip on my arm and turned me to face her. ‘You cant help how you feel. Nothing hurts like unrequited love but yours wasn’t unrequited,. He just treaded water at the other end of the pool and waited for his girlfriend's mood to change so he could talk to her.Ruthie remained in the same spot for a very long time, gently waving her arms back and forth but otherwise not moving. Finally Mike got tired treading water in the deep end and swam to where the water was shallower. By then some of the numbness in Ruthie's brain was starting to wear off, and the usual swirl of disjointed thoughts resurfaced in her consciousness. Finally she was ready to talk."Have you ever been to Nebraska?" Through it a bunch of times. We did stop in Omaha, but not in Lincoln." You know most of it's totally flat." Yeah." You know why?"Mike shook his head."It used to be ocean ... kinda like an inland waterway going between the two halves of North America. That's why they've got so many marine fossils from there. There's places you can dig up clamshells from the Cretaceous period."Mike said nothing, wondering where Ruthie was going with the.
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