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She broke the silence and said of course you'll be there, we'll need someone to mix drinks and cook and serve the food. Oh , so I'm a waiter that night I asked. No it's not like that , they are MY friends and you won't know their names so you stay busy cooking and serving so I can enjoy my friends. Well OK I said. The Monday before the party I did all the shopping for the food and liquor. I started mowing around the pool , cleaning it and pressure washing the concrete around it. Saturday morning I started the smoker with at least 30 pounds of pork loin in it. While it was smoking I set up all the chairs and tables , and strang up lots of Christmas lights to help set a cool mood. Around four I was coming in to shower and get dressed I saw my wife in the kitchen making up a cheese tray. She was in the same thong bikini she had worn to her birthday party.. I walked up and kissed her bare ass cheek. Then I ran off to shower. At about six the cars started coming , and they kept coming.. But I decided against that. There would be plenty of time for self-flagellation when I got home. Instead, I got up, removed my garter belt and stockings and climbed into bed. This time I knew I wouldn't just feel like crying. I hugged my pillow tightly, and as the first few sobs came from my chest, the phone next to the bed rang. I wondered who the hell wanted to interrupt my misery just as it was getting started."Hi Lauren," Chandra said from the other end of the phone."Hi," I said, "Chandra, please understand that I never meant..." I know, Lauren. Listen, can we talk for a few minutes ... face-to-face?" Sure. Where?" Coffee shop next to the hotel lobby? It's pretty quiet right now." O.K. Let me look in the mirror and see how bad I look. I'll be down within 10 minutes."I looked in the mirror, just as I said I would. No TV star look-a-like staring back at me this time. I wondered if the woman people tell me I look so much like ever looked this blah. I found an elastic hair band in my.
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