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How do you get a farm girl to like you? A tractor.What do you call a red haired baker?A ginger bread man.My old Granddad always used to say ‘when one door closes another opens’Lovely man. Rubbish cabinet maker.Be careful what you binge eat. Yesterday I ate a can of alphabet soup and today I had the largest vowel movement ever.Q: Which song is known for inciting new-borns to altercate with with a small classical Greek string instrument vaguely similar to a small harp?A: “Come on baby fight my lyre”.Q. What’s covered in cling film and swings through the bell tower in a cathedral?A. The lunch pack of Notre Dame!A story from Reltney McFee New Joke Candidate.The Flood JokeThere was this guy, lived in New Orleans. The news announced that The! Big! Hurricane! Was on the way, and everybody ought to evacuate to higher ground, inland.The guy shrugged, and said, “I will trust in The Lord!”The storm approached closer, water was running in the streets. The police drove through, over their. Tommy said; “Jennifer I would like you to meet my Dad.” Greg - the big guy - got up and shook my hand.“Hello young lady. I’m glad you will be working for me. However, I understand I will have to go through your dad before you take part in any dates and/or movies.”I looked over at dad and he smiled at me.Tommy said, “Jen, this is my mom Laura.”She got up and shook my hand, but she also gave me a hug.“And this is my older half-sister, Amy.”She came over to me, and gave me a big hug too. She pulled back and we looked at each other. She said; “We are identical except that my hair is shorter.”Dad got up and said, “Jennifer please have a seat.”I sat down and asked, “What’s going on Dad?”“There are things I need to tell you: first your mom did leave us to have more sex; she was, or I should say she is a sex freak. However, she also left because we couldn’t get along; we were always fighting and arguing. So, we were both at fault. I don’t want you to be angry with her, or with me; it’s just.
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