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"It says it will increase the pitch of your voice so any man willspeak just like a woman. Hmm, it sounds a pretty wild claim. I wonder ifthey had the Trades Descriptions Act in those days." She read from thedirections on the side of the box, "'Place a capsule on the top of thetongue and wait for a minute until it melts. Swallow the contents straightdown the throat. Within minutes, you will have the sweet voice of awoman.'" She looked up at me. "Sounds exactly what you need."I almost hesitated, but then I realised that hesitating was exactly whatBill would have done. He'd have procrastinated until he died of old age. Ismiled at the pair of them, both looking rather anxiously at me, as thoughworried I might not go along with it."Well, pass one over," I said. "I can't swallow it from here."Gemma extracted a capsule from the box and passed it to me. I slipped itin my mouth and held it on my tongue at the back of my mouth for a fewseconds. Then it melted, and I swallowed. It was a bit. I spent the first night being instructed by her, I had to find out what was acceptable, expected, and forbidden. I really didn’t want to offend the culture, I had the impression the result could be short, sharp and terminal.We started low key and made our way round to the bed warming.“So tell me” I said. “Does every visitor get a bed warmer?”“Oh no, only people my father regards as worthy. You, he’s not sure of yet” I had persuaded her to be frank and that I would not repeat anything, I wanted to learn “He can’t tell if you are some important foreign dignitary from Engerland “(they couldn’t quite get the name right, close enough I thought) “or just an itinerant traveller, or a spy. If you are the last then ... well, you know” I knew, she’d already explained that spies were dispatched by the economical method of feeding the hunting dogs with bits of you until you were all gone. You didn’t die usually until the third or fourth limb was cut off. “If you are a traveller then no harm.
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