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You derive comfort in any medical diagnosis that supports this theory of yours. And shallow optimism from chemicals designed to ‘correct’ this condition of mine. Madness? Perhaps. Powerful, certainly. But it’s no nameless force, no almighty independent power in itself. It is me. Part of me. All of me. By what right can you claim that a part of me that defines who I am is separate, an illness, a sore to be healed? I know what I feel. I know who I am. Can you say the same? Unlike you I can see where this ends. The waves I ride get higher, deeper and harder to survive. Recovery (your word) is longer each time. The further I go, the harder it is to come back. And why do I, why should I turn back? Because that is what you expect of me? I know there is only one end to this ride, to this life so fraught with intensity. I embrace it. Why can’t you? You run when the darkness descends and show fear when I’m flying in the sun. You are forever waiting for the sun to disappear. You have no peace. It was that statistic that forced the young man to concur with his wife's insistence that he have a vasectomy to preclude any new additions to the already financially stressed household. It was that perk that led her into the affair because she liked having the liquid deposits splashing around in her female openings and not inside a silly looking piece of latex. The ability to copulate without fear of procreating was so comforting to her at this stage of her young life just barely eighteen. Unfortunately, the terrible sin of having a vasectomy was a burden to the Catholic family and they kept it well hidden from friends and neighbors.Nancy was so besotted with her handsome Barry that she even schemed to stay in Ireland and try to work out a deal with the wife to share the virile constable in a fair arrangement. Before she could propose the silly idea to either party, her mother suffered a sudden stroke and she buried her in the church behind her grandparent's home with a heavy heart..
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