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A dildo with a lamp on the handle was pushed into her arse hole, and she was hung from a hook high above the guests' heads like a human chandelier.An hour or so later, the unfortunate English bride was lowered on a rope until she was only about four feet off the floor, and in this cramped position she was caned by Princess Elaheh with sweeping upward movements to strike her arse, which was the lowest hanging part of her body.CRACK! went the birch cane across the hanging buttocks.From the very first stroke, the hapless woman screamed as though she had been torn apart, and then she sobbed, with the tears running out from beneath her blindfold, "But it's my honeymoon. You can't do this to me, Princess."CRACK! a second stroke followed the first."I'll do whatever I want," gloated the Princess, "and you can just put up with it.CRACK!CRACK!CRACK!CRACK!By the sixth stroke the victim had subsided completely, leaving her sobbing and moaning at each blow. The whole of the displayed arse was red. But pants, on the other hand (leg?) are a topological nightmare. I left college 25 years ago in part because advanced calculus was completely incomprehensible to me. All that stuff about morphing a coffee cup into a doughnut and spatial curves and other gobbledygook. Trying to piece together a pair of pants made me wish I had finished that course, because I truly needed it. With the aid of a commercially assembled pair of pants and a lot of patience I was able to connect the legs in the right sequence and even get the pockets in the right place, all the while being thankful that skirts don't have pockets. I was gaining back my confidence now, and turned the page over and was once again lost in limbo. That's when I decided SRS would be simpler and more effective than continuing to sew. Have you ever read the directions to assemble the fly on a pair of pants? Believe me, if I had Albert Einstein, Richard Feynman and Stephen Hawking in the room with me they would be as completely.
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