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5 million cars a year.“Wow indeed.”“So, you and Jim spent all that time working? No nice dinners or anything?”Her blush returned. “Don’t you worry about your old Mom, Paul.”“I’m not worried about you. I just want to make sure you are taking a little time to enjoy yourself. This is a windfall for both of us.”“I know that, Paul, but I also don’t want us to forget who we are just because we suddenly have some money.”“So do you like Jim? You certainly act like it.”“That’s none of your business, young man.”“Will you at least tell me if it gets serious?”My mother nodded. “That much, I can agree to. Now, why don’t you run out and take care of chores and then we’ll go into town for dinner?”“Call me (call me) on the lineCall me, call me any, anytimeCall me (call me) oh loveWhen you’re ready we can share the wineCall me...”I snapped the radio off and taped the last splice of speaker wire together. The stereo was in and I could stop listening to Blondie belt out the anthem from American Gigolo.. I tried to jump start the process, beginning my day with a bowl of bowel-cleansing fiber cereal, following it with 6 cups of coffee at work, and adding a bean-laden lunch at Taco Bell.As I was returning home from work, my insides let me know with subtle rumbles and the omission of the occasional tiny fart that big things would be happening soon.Alas, I had to stop by the mall to pick up an order for my fiancée. I completed this task, and I was walking past the stores on my way back to the car, I noticed a large sale sign proclaiming "Everything Must Go!" This was prophetic, for my colon informed me with a sudden violent cramp and a wet, squeaky fart that everything was indeed about to go.I hurried to the mall bathrooms. I surveyed the five stalls, which I have numbered 1 through 5 for your convenience:1. Occupied.2. Clean, but bathroom protocol forbids its use, as it's next to the occupied one.3. Poo on seat.4. Poo and toilet paper in bowl, Unidentifiable liquid splattered on seat.5..
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