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What if there were no humans manning the receiver and it was all handled by an automated system? The base itself was unmanned after all. His plan assumed that there was some UNN office worker sitting at a desk when there might very well not be.Just as he was beginning to lose hope, deciding to turn in and try again the following day, a window appeared on the main monitor. There was an icon indicating an incoming message. He scrambled awake, spinning the trackball to mouse over the symbol. He clicked the icon, and a simple text message displayed.-WHO IS THIS?-Simple and to the point, fair enough. Now that this unknown function had been activated, he was able to reply by simply clicking the option beneath the original message. How insultingly basic after all the time that he had spent trawling the operating system searching for just such a function. He typed out his reply and hit send.-I AM CORPORAL SCHAFFER, SERIAL #374627834, I AM STRANDED AND REQUIRE IMMEDIATE ASSISTANCE. I HAVE. I mean its not like I have a job to get up for.”“Speaking of jobs, Mike we should go into the office today, see if we have any new appointments, backed up paperwork, the whole drill,” Jim said.“Sure, no problem, gives me a chance to clear some stuff up,” dad replied.“Marie and I are gonna do the clothes thing again, were only halfway done,” mom said.“Halfway? All those clothes you went through this week? You women...” I trailed off.Rita punched me in the arm. “Hey! We don't make fun of you guys when you do pointless guy stuff! Anyways if we can find something to do outside the house, then were all for it.”“Well it looks like everyone has plans, good for us,” Marie said to no one in particular.We finished eating one by one and washed our own dishes up and left. I went upstairs and grabbed a towel and a change of clothes and hopped in the shower since I still felt all sticky and dirty from yesterday. As I was showering I shaved my pubes clean, sort of a surprise for Rita, and I kinda.
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