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” Otto said.“Columbian snuff?” I was mystified. Although I knew tobacco was grown in parts of Spain’s South American colonies I had never heard of snuff being produced from it — or any sold in England. Of course, the Continentals have differing tastes to that of the British, and perhaps Columbian snuff is as popular in France and Spain as Balkan snuff is in England.“Did — err —Hans allow you a pinch of the snuff?”Otto grinned. “He did better than that; he sold me some.” He took a small bag, the type sailors keep tobacco in and wear around their necks with a leather tie, from his pocket and handed it to me.I pulled open the drawstring, peered inside and saw a small quantity of white powder, which I suspected to be White Lady. To make certain I wet the tip of my forefinger and picked up a few grains, my lips numbed when touched by my finger, and I knew my suspicion was proved correct.“How does a ship’s cook have White Lady in his possession?” I said.“It appears Captain Caracciolo gives. Hell no… I chose to move in for the kill shot… so I continued with, ‘And from where I sit… it’s kinda hard to distinguish between the horse’s ass and your ass. Y’know… they sorta look the same to me.’ (DOUBLE POINTS.) I was on a roll. I was unstoppable. And this material was pure gold. Eventually though, her horse moved out of yelling range so I had to stop. It didn’t matter, I had proven my worth and she was sure to be suitably impressed. Right? It took me almost half an hour to realize that something in our relationship had definitely cooled, but for the life of me I had no idea what it could possibly be. (NOW who’s the dumb animal?) I do remember actually asking her if she was mad at me. That’s when she did this extraordinary thing… she told me she was… and exactly why she was. (I later found out that apparently in the history of the human species, no woman had ever done that before. Usually all the boyfriend gets is a very emphatic ‘I’m fine!’) I can also remember being.
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