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” “Fine,” God grumbled, “but first, I’m making some fucking dinosaurs.”“No more fucking dinosaurs!” “Lucy, I swear they’ll pan out this time. They’ll be in jets and watching youtube in no time, you’ll see.” “They’re stupid reptiles with feathers, God. They don’t do anything but…”So that’s how I created Lucy in this universe, God said, and I always do. There was never a ‘first’ universe, but as far back as I can remember, Lucy has always been with me. She never found love, Rachel, though she never actually looked for it either. You are the first person she’s ever fallen for. What the fuck… I said, my voice fading. Let’s move on. God said, ignoring my dismayed existential dread. The universe whirled in shapes and colors, and then stopped to reveal the most beautiful image I’d ever seen. Immense, puffing clouds towered above a pristine lake, their darkened bottoms lined with brilliant, silver sunlight. Massive pine trees dotted the domes of rolling hills, and a trickling waterfall parted. The hair on top of his head had burst through thesurface and was already over an inch long. The hair on the sides andback of his head had grown at a break-neck pace to the point he hadbegun gathering it into a low pony tail. His construction buddiescouldn't see the remarkable growth because he constantly wore a baseballcap while he worked at the clinic and at their Friday night "planningsessions".Sandi had followed Mary's instructions to the letter. She only trimmed amaximum of a quarter inch of hair at a time and then only once a week.His hair seemed to be growing about 3/4" per week. Subtract the 1/4" sheremoved each Friday and Johnny would be netting about 1/2" of uncuttablegrowth per week. Not so much at the beginning but Sandi had done thecalculations...Johnny had not. In a year's time, Johnny's hair wouldfall to the middle of his back.Sandi didn't mention her calculations to Johnny. "He'll figure it outsooner or later" she reasoned. She figured she would have to braid hishair.
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