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He looked at the small pile of possessions on the table. “It’s pretty sad that all that’s left of me after twenty years is a wallet, a watch, car keys and a phone. I plan to do better in my next twenty years.”Without another word, he turned and left. There was only stunned silence broken by muffled sobs in his wake.As he walked out the front door he didn’t even bother to look back, but instead of feeling relieved or even victorious about his leave-taking, he only felt sad. It was almost as if he had failed them.Saddened by the memory, he gazed out the hospital window, oblivious to the December sunshine. He figured they were all better off without contact. He was a failure in his father’s eyes – not that he cared about that at all, it was the other part of the equation that continued to bother him. Not often, but sometimes he had wondered if his mother had yet to drink herself to death, or if his sister had ever grown up and returned to being the loving, caring person he had known. ‘If God gave all men such things, you don’t need to be ashamed for me to see or even touch yours. I will never see or touch you there again until we marry. But I must be sure. You see that, don’t you, my sweet love?’

 ‘I know. But it’s more. It’s not only what God gave me that I don’t want you to see. It’s what Johnny Reb gave me. It’s so ugly.’

 ‘No,’ I said. ‘I hadn’t even noticed.’

 I now observed that his left leg was somewhat swollen and reddish, and especially so all around a sunken white place about the size of a dollar coin where the muscle had been torn away.

 ‘It’s not ugly. It just … a hurt place. Does it pain you?’

 ‘Yes, often it does. The doctors said it would slowly get better, and it has, but I’ll always feel it, especially when it’s cold. ‘

 ‘It’s warm now,’ I said, and began gently to draw a circle around the area of injury.

 He flinched.

 ‘Oh! Did I hurt you?’ I asked.

 ‘No,’ he said. ‘But I can’t think you really want to touch such an ugly leg.’

 ‘You.
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