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What was I doing? I wasn’t even trying to pretend we weren’t going to make love anymore. Not even to Keven. Had I lost every ounce of self-respect I’d ever had? I stripped off the gown and ran water over a washcloth. I had to freshen up. He’d driven me to the edge of sexual assault on his hard body and I had to get rid of the evidence. The question in my mind wasn’t ‘could I delay sex for a few days?’ anymore. Now it was ‘can I hold off on ravishing him until after dark?’ As I dressed, my emotions were a whirlpool of desire and worry. I realized that my mind had said ‘make love,’ not ‘do the mattress boogie,’ and I took some comfort in that, but that ‘L-word’ was enough to send both panic and desire spearing through me. Would this be the first step in something wonderful or an enormous mistake? I guess there really was only one way to find out. The shell game at the police station went off smoothly, and in an hour or so I was in my car with Keven in the passenger seat. I’m not sure. I know that uttering, "I love you", on the first date (if you could call it that) is trite, but Mary sensed that I was truly overcome with her, that I had no hidden agenda.But now I had to tread carefully with respect to Ginny. How much about us did Mary already know? Did she know about my son's exploits? Did she care?Mary seems to be completely sapphic, yet that dildo of hers conjures up only thoughts of men from porn movies!It is clearly impossible for Mary to participate in anything where students may be involved, yet my youngest is only a freshman. My dilemma is that if I suddenly no longer dallied with my kids, they will quickly catch on that I have found an outside lover, and they would certainly discover Mary's role!Can I do without real "schlong" for over three years?Do I tell Mary about my dilemma?If I love her, doesn't she deserve it?I decided to sleep on this.I dreamt of Mary and of that enormous toy that sent us to places we'd never been - I'd never been - before. It was.
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