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With the help of some good friends I have been able to keep it so. Let me start from the beginning...My desires started around middle school and had grown almost uncontrollable by high school. I had always been very athletic, and by that point I had already begun to make a name for myself through sports. It seemed as if I was good at anything I tried, but where I grew up baseball and especially football, were king.I’m sure it sounds arrogant, however I’m just being honest and telling it like it happened. A star high school athlete, where I was from and at the time I grew up, had very real expectations. Already having received numerous college scholarship offers with an eye on things beyond that, it seemed clear the all American role I had to play.Yet, there were those feelings, those desires. I wanted nothing more than to taste cock, to suck it, to pleasure it. I wasn’t exactly sure of my sexual orientation, but back then oh how I wanted to be on my knees. Oh how I so wanted to feel. I still do that a couple of times a day. Not a very pretty image, is it? It’s functional and eventually, I’ll probably want to try it out with something other than my girlfriends’ fingers. What I’m saying is that I love you, Jacob. If there is ever a time when I want a boy’s penis in my vagina, it will be yours. You mean so much to me.”“I think you are the bravest person I know,” I said. I could feel V1’s tears welling up in my eyes. They were not so much tears for Beca as they were tears of regret for my attitude and actions in that life. I had to come face to face with a petite vulnerable little girl in order to adjust my thinking. What if she hadn’t been petite? What if she had been a more ‘masculine’ looking girl? Would I ever have made this adjustment? I kissed her softly and we got ourselves in position for recording.I was breaking a little with the tradition of strictly classical or Spanish music. Vinnie convinced me there was a lot of contemporary music that sounded great on.
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