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” That meant that if I had to make pee or poo poo, I couldn’t do it in the toilet or even in the house. I had to let them know by pointing to my private parts and then begging to be taken out doors. Of course I was at first terrified that the neighbors would see me making poo poo while crouched over in our yard, but my brothers did this so often I could only assume that every one in the neighborhood had seen me that way at one time or another. So at this point I felt I had been degraded to the role of slave or animal. And there was no one I could ask for help.As I said, my father was almost always away in those days and when he was home, some strange noises would come out of their bedroom. My brothers said it had reached the point where Daddy was spanked and humiliated just like I was, but they couldn’t be sure because they had never seen it happen.All that changed though, one weekend when Mom had invited her friends and their daughters over to our house for a “target party”. After rinsing the dishes, putting them in the drain board, Catherine stood at the sink staring out the window at her backyard, seeing the red maple leaves on the small patio and on the barbecue grill which now was covered with a green tarp. Her mind was wondering if she could actually do it, what would she say. How would he react , she wondered, would she be able to stay calm and not cry? She knew he was having heart issues and was taking medication. The doctor didn’t think it was too serious, told him to cut down on the ice cream, but it occurred to Catherine that the shock might trigger something and knew she had to be careful not to upset him too much, though she couldn’t imagine he would take the news lightly. She found herself having an imaginary conversation with Martin. They would be sitting at the kitchen table. She would bring him a cup of tea. Should she take his hand, speak softly, gently? Or, just say, ‘Martin, I have something to tell you’ and just bluntly blurt it out,.
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