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"It's not," said the man. "The little bastard stuck a pin in all my condoms."This one is compliments of BobLife's Demerit System ... In the world of romance, one single rule applies:MAKE THE WOMAN HAPPY!Do something she likes, and you get points.Do something she dislikes, and points are subtracted.You don't get any points for doing something she expects.Sorry, that's the way the game is played. Here is a non-exhaustive guide to the point system:SIMPLE DUTIESYou make the bed. (+1)You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillows. (-10)You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets. (-3)You go out to buy her what she wants (+5) in the rain (+8)But return with Beer. (-5)PROTECTIVE DUTIESYou check out a suspicious noise at night. (+1)You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing. (0)You check out a suspicious noise, and it is something. (+5)You pummel it with an iron rod. (+10)It's her pet Schnauzer. (-30)SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTSYou stay by her side for the entire party. (+1)You stay by. .um…my girlfriend, Madison. This is my mom, Vivian and my step father....John." Kendra stumbles out with a noticeable fear."It’s nice to meet you dear." Her mom says warmly while extending her hand to me."It's a pleasure to finally meet you Mrs. Stevenson. I've heard so much about you." I lie.Vivian replying, "We always enjoy meeting any of Kendra's friends"."No Mom, this is my girlfriend. Remember when you asked if I was seeing any one?" Vivian's face drops; John calmly pushes his chair back and sets down his napkin that was balled in his fist. "Good day" were the only words he spoke before leaving to walk outside. Through clenched teeth Vivian leans forward,"Congratulations, you've upset your father in record time, Kendra" grabbing her expensive purse she turns and leaves without saying another word.Kendra drops her head into her hands and sighs, "Well that went better than I thought." I think they like me, but it might be too soon to start calling them Mom and Dad, huh?" I try to.
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