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“I came home.”Valentine’s Day GenieAN OLDER WOMAN runs into her friend at the mall. “You’re not going to believe this,” she said. “I found an old lamp the other day. I rubbed it and a genie popped out. He explained that genies don’t give three wishes anymore, but he did offer me a choice between one of two wishes. He could give me a better memory or turn my husband into the greatest lover ever.”“Tough choice,” said her friend. “Which one did you choose?”“That’s the thing. I can’t remember.”Woman Like ManNymphomaniac (nim(p)-fə-ˈmā-nē-yak)n. A women as obsessed with sex as the average man.Love WinningsQ: Why does Cupid always make so much money at the casino?A: Because he’s a Valentine’s Card Shark.Cute AnglesIf you were a triangle you’d be acute one.My Better HalfQ: What did the toast say to the butter on Valentine’s Day?A: You’re my butter half!A Good Looking MuffinQ: What did one muffin say to the other on Valentine’s Day?A: You’re my stud-muffin!One in a MillionQ: What did one. ’ ‘Your mother,’ he chuckled. Her mother, a woman of a slightly more appropriate age for his interests. ‘I can’t count the number of times she’s told me to cut my hair,’ she said, rolling her eyes slightly. ‘Why would you ever cut your hair?’ he asked, and without thinking he ran his fingers through the curls cascading down her back. Her heart lurched in her chest as the tips of his fingers brushed against the skin between her shoulder blades. ‘I…’ she stammered, choking over her words when his hand didn’t return to his lap. ‘That’s what I tell her.’ ‘How old are you?’ he asked, his hand hovering over the middle of her back. ‘Eighteen,’ she replied, trying to gather her thoughts. Her mind had gone completely blank with the simplest touch of his hand. ‘Just…my birthday…a couple weeks ago.’ He nodded, and twisted a curl around his index finger as he inched closer to her. She smelled like roses and the sea and champagne. ‘How old are you?’ she asked, afraid to hear the answer —.
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