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It felt so safe, quiet, and peaceful. When I awoke, I was lying on my back, my hands folded as if I were laid for burial. I felt more peaceful and refreshed than I have for many days.October 3The undertaker came this morning. I looked through his book and ***********ed a casket. A rather simple design of white enameled wood, lined with satin. He took some measurements, and we discussed the details of the service. I told him that the wedding flowers would do for my funeral as well. I told him my wedding gown and veil to be used for my burial garments. I do want Jonathan to see me in my wedding gown, even if it is to be as I lie in my coffin. We discussed my funeral as calmly as I discussed my wedding a few weeks ago. Only now does that seem strange.October 4 I feel so weak today, Jonathan has been here with me all day. It is such a comfort to know he is close. The priest came today as well. For a while we discussed the service, and what would happen to me. He spoke of the beauties of. The band had finally agreed to work with me,but Jake, the band's drummer, had left town for the holidays with hisfamily. We had agreed to meet and work on the song after the holidays wereover, but now I was antsy to complete the song.The rest of the week was nice and stress-free. After all the work that hadbeen expended on the Christmas Concert, I was actually happy to take abreak from Sarah's life. Unlike my Thanksgiving break - when I craved doingsomething as Sarah - the vacation was very nice. I did put on the wigWednesday night for an appearance at an event sponsored by the ChristmasElves Foundation, but that was the only time.On Christmas Eve, my family and I went to Uncle Alex's and Aunt Charlotte'shouse. Tracy's parents didn't host many family gatherings at their home,but it was always nice when they did. We exchanged gifts and played somegames before it was time to return home for the evening.When we arrived back at my house I found myself on the couch in Sarah'sroom with.
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