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He liked to stay home, smoking rollies and bongs. He liked daytime TV. He suspected that if he stopped watching, it might pucker up into itself, like one might expect one’s anus to do if one were to fall forcefully on a greased lemon. It may very well have just been the drugs, but he noticed that when he stopped paying attention to something, pretty soon, it just stopped existing. So, really, there were a lot of people depending on him. John was single. His last girlfriend had carried on with a lot of shit, nagging. She had always gone on about his attention span, or something, he didn’t know, he hadn’t really been listening. She thought (and stated, often) that he should be spending his time in more productive ways. He suspected that she didn’t entirely accept ‘The Lemon Theory’, and he believed that it was this closed-mindedness that eventually drove them apart. He had heard from his mate, Colin, that she was engaged now to some law-talking guy, ‘some-Tom-fellah’. He considered it. Tremaine?” he asks. All I can do is gape at him.“You left footprints, Linda,” he explains. “Not that hard to track if one tries. And one sort of felt it obligatory to try, given the rather odd circumstances. I wanted to be sure you weren’t in some sort of trouble.”“Irving, you snoop!” I say. I keep my voice light, but inside I’m getting more worried by the minute. “You just couldn’t bear being left in the dark!”“Well, I do confess to curiosity,” he says with a twinkle. There’s that little boy inside taking another peek around and reminding me how much I like Irving. “But it was a legitimate inquiry. The firm needs to know what its associates are up to, and the mystery was a little greater than we were comfortable with.”“And now you know.”“And now we know,” he repeats.“Look, I can explain... ,” I begin. But how the hell can I? Oh, Christ, there goes my future.But Irving’s holding up his hand palm outward. “No explanation needed,” he says. “Linda, I think this is one of the most.
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