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The dairy herd had to be driven out to,pasture first thing and returned in the evening for milking, the chickens and pigs needed feeding along with the cattle. There was the constant refuelling ofvtractors and one haulage truck and shovelling the combined hay and pig shit out of a flooded pig style as extra jobs. Then after a weeks work installing new fence posts and laying barbed wire and scratching ourselves silly despite the heavy gloves we wore a baby tornado came along and ripped up a miles worth like they were c***d’s toys! No other damage except the chicken coop smashed along with eight poor hens caught inside! After harvest I was a free agent. During this time I managed to have my first real date, a cousin of a close friend who lived just outside Denver, Colorado. Oh I,d had experiences with the odd female then, even been seduced by older females, but those are reminisces for another time. But up till then I hadn,t had a sexual experience with any partner I really liked. ”“Don’t forget the Viagra for use with your mistress,” Oscar said.Nodding his head in agreement, Magus said, “Just so that you know, take a sedative before your first trip to the opera and then amphetamines to all visits thereafter. It will convince your wife that you’ve actually become interested in the opera as a result of her influence and will generally result in sex.”“Do not ever take an amphetamine before a visit from your mother-in-law. You will find that your tongue is a much faster organ than your brain. It can lead to an exciting evening that involves lots of shouting and breaking of fragile things. That little error motivated my second two year expedition to locate the lost Aztec city of gold,” Oscar said.Leland leaned over to Stephen and asked, “Do you have a gun?”“No,” Stephen answered. “Why would you want a gun?”“To kill myself,” Leland said.Magus said, “There are proper and improper ways to deal with a wife’s first ruined meal. The proper way is to tell her that it.
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