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” “I know,” I reply flatly. “The first time is the hardest, but it gets easier.” “That’s kind of awful to say,” he whispers. “You just turn off your emotions for a while, and when they go back to living without you, you can turn them back on and realize they are happy again,” I say it with confidence but I know it isn’t true. When a loved one dies, you can still see them, until they enter their tunnel and they go into the afterlife. An afterlife you will never reach. “I can help you,” I tell him. “When the time comes I’ll walk you through it.” I pull him to me and I embrace him. The truth is, I won’t ever know what it feels like the first time. I was born, not bitten. I will never know what it’s like to do anything like a human. I will never have my first kiss as a human, my first time as a human, I will never eat like a normal person, and I have never even truly slept through the night. I pull away for a moment. “Take your time,” I tell him. “We have forever.” *** We get back. For the life of me I can't explain it. But I obeyed! I let my hands fall to my sides and I groaned in fear as his finger moved around one of my breasts and then up over the nipple, teasing me through my clothing.He never once took his eyes from mine, though. And for some reason, I was held helpless by his eyes, and by the smug look on his face. I couldn't move. I couldn't scream. Instead I felt a few tears run down my cheeks. Before they could fall from my face, he leaned forward and licked them from my cheek without ever taking his eyes from mine.He straightened up slowly. I quietly began to beg him to let me go but he ignored me once again. His finger moved casually to my other breast. He ignored my pleas and said, "Alice, you wear too many clothes. We are going to have to work on your wardrobe. This bra feels like something my mother would wear. A young girl like you doesn't need a big, thick bra like this. Hell, with your little tits you don't need a bra at all! And those skirt.
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