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But we were very comfortable with the terms under which we lived our lives.There was Rachel. Jenny never really knew about Rachel. I think she still doesn’t know. At that point, she was still around and I had run with her for a little bit just about eleven months ago and hadn’t seen her since; I wanted to seek her out. I always enjoyed being with her. We took every opportunity, save a few early on. Rachel I was in love with. I just didn’t know how to tell her, stop, together, forever, until death do us part.Then there was Kelly. I had been in Fargo less than a week ago and she was insisting that I take her out on the road over summer break. I keep hedging. She’s going to be 18 by then and I knew she was going to try to use that fact to sleep with me. It was a Hobson’s choice. Perpetual refusal would deeply hurt her and her self esteem. Giving in to her would complicate my relationship with the people I considered my family.She had clearly wanted to ever since I’ve known her, she saw. He hated it? but he loved it too. It was because he was asissy that his marriage hadn?t lasted ? so there would be no going back.He was a failure as a man, and that was a very depressing thought. Verydepressing! Actually, he was a failure because he wasn?t a man? notreally. He was a sissy instead. A damn sissy! And a failure!Failure! Failure!Felling very depressed about himself, he turned into his company?sparking lot and found his usual parking space. He turned his engine offand just sat there for a few moments. Failure! All because he wasn?t areal man. All because he was a sissy. He hated it? and yet, he didn?treally want to do anything about it either. All the things he lovedmost in life? were the sissy things. Even all the humiliations. Deepdown, he loved them. Only the sissy things made him really feel alive. Why? Why? Why? There was no answer. No solution. And because ofthat, he was a failure.He was startled by a knock on his car window. He looked up to.
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