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“I had a lovely salad”.“What about me?” I asked. “I thought you were dead” he said.When I see lovers’ names carved in a tree, I don’t think it’s cute. I just think it’s crazy how many people bring knives on a date.There was a farmer who had a brown cow and a white cow and he wanted to get them bred, so borrowed his neighbour’s bull and turned it loose in the pasture. He told his son to watch and come in and tell him when the bull was finished. “Yeah daddy, yeah daddy” said the little boy.After a while the boy came into the living room where his father was talking with some friends. “Say, Pop” said the boy. “Yes”replied his father. “The bull just fucked the brown cow”.There was a sudden lull in the conversation. The father said “Excuse me?” and took his son outside.“Son, you mustn’t use language like that in front of company. You should say ‘the bull SURPRISED the brown cow’. Now go and watch and tell me when the bull ‘SURPRISES’ the white cow”.The father went back inside the house.. Your first pedicure and manicure."My, you look good up there. My manicurist would do a much better jobthan I can but I will do my best for you, Jim. Here's a Vogue magazine foryou to look at while I do all the things which make a pedicure so relaxingand pleasurable. And next to you, on the table is an OPI color chart foryou to pick which color you want your toenails painted. I get final OK ofthe color but I am sure you will pick something very feminine for yourfirst time."Jim immediately picked up the chart and intently focused on it. I preparedhis feet slowly and lovingly gave them a massage which caused a stringsof moans from my little girl to be. After I had finished shaping histoenails and removing the excess man junk around his cuticles, I was readyfor his decision on the color he wanted for his toes."Have you picked out a nice polish, Jim?" Oh, Cherie, I didn't know that such a decision would be so hard. Can youhelp me? I have narrowed it down to these three. Rose Petal Pink,.
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