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We had never capitalized on the opportunities that came about. The anticipation was killing as I stood in a sea of people waiting to get in. A man up ahead was directing people to two lines. With the VIP tickets I scored from work I got to go to the shorter of the lines. As I stood there waiting people were chit chatting, I felt odd because I was surround by people that were in groups of friends and couples. Standing there by myself, someone exclaimed my name in a high pitched excited voice. I whipped around. There stood Ash, she was taller than most girls even without the black knee high boots that outlined her slim tone legs. She was pretty with blueish green eyes, I could get lost in her gaze. We hugged, the hugged lingered, it said without words that she had equally missed me. We reluctantly parted and introduced me to her friend. The lights were going, DJ was spinning, and the drinks were flowing. This had the makings of a good night I thought to myself. Our first mission was. See, the way I see it, I'm using them. The fact that they'll survive and I won't is beside the point. You see, I want to die. Yep, it's true. I want to die. I have no reason to go on living and no one will miss me.My foster parents? Yeah right. They'll be happy I'm not eating everything in sight, and they'll probably hope that no one at DCFS catches on so they can keep cashing the check I generate every month. Friends, who would want to be my friend? I move so much, thanks to DCFS, that making friends is a no win proposition. Now I just keep everybody away, be an asshole, or whatever works. I've lost too many friends already, I don't need any more.I found these guys I'm helping out on the web, where I do have a few friends. They might notice I haven't posted to the blog today, but hey, they'll forget all about me in a week. I've seen it happen. So it's all going to happen because of one tenth of a percent. Kind of ironic I think.What brought my score down? What caused me to be here,.
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