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"Mike fidgeted uneasily in his chair while Joanne came around from behind her desk and said, "Now Mike, if you're sure that you don't have what it takes, you can get up and leave right now and there will be no hard feelings. But on the other hand, if you want to go for it, you're going to have to slip off your pants and shorts and get an erection for me as quickly as possible!" "And if I do," Mike asked, "then what?" "Then," she went on, "I have this cylinder filled with liquid latex that we insert your erection into, it is perfectly safe to the skin and very quick hardening, so after only several minutes you remove your organ and we pour water into the mold and then measure the volume that your penis has displaced." "And," Mike asked, "then what?" "That's it," she replied. "If enough water is displaced, you're hired, if not, well then at least you'll know exactly how big your penis is. So what's it going to be?" Joanne placed a quart jar on top of the desk followed by a can of dry. Run, Vanessa. Fucking run! I tripped over my two left feet as I fled through the woods. I didnt know what was after me, but I did know thisthere was no way in hell I was going to let it get me. Pausing at a tree to catch my breath, I took stock of where I was. The middle of fucking nowhere, thats where I was. Trees surrounded me front and back, left to right. How was I going to make it out alive? Thats when I saw it. My light at the end of a long, musty tunnel, the flickering light to guide me out of damnation. I raced towards the golden ticket as my head pounded a deep bass drum solo and my lungs reluctantly filled my burning chest with air, like balloons ready to burst. A snickering came from behind me. Or was it to my left? As the bitter laugh continued, I decided it sounded from all over, not just a single voice. Despite my growing trepidation, I focused on the most boisterous, intrinsic sound I could. I struggled to concentrate on the raspy inhale and exhale of my unrestrained.
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